Have I become so complaisant? To have become invisible not only to others but to myself as well. I fear that my days have been filled with such a routine of making each day pleasant for those around me that I may have lost sight of myself in the process. If that is the case then who am I? I can look in a mirror and see a physical self, that truthfully, resembles a slight reminder of who I once was. I'm afraid though that the person looking back at me in the reflection.... doesn't recognize me either. If this is true and I have lost sight of who I am....then how can I expect those around me to see the person lost in the commotion of the every day? Can I really show others who I am, if I don't remember?
But wait.... I do remember.
I am a rare beauty of sorts. I wear my heart on my sleeve and share my emotional passion freely with those I come in contact with. I hug to say hello and cry for those who are too tough or too worn out to shed another tear. I pray out loud in hopes that someone hears me and thank God when things go right. I belly dance to certain songs and slow dance (even alone) to others. I have black soles on my feet all summer and walk on my toes whenever I get the chance. I believe in the power of "I'm sorry" and think that honesty is one of the most important qualities of a person. I have physical traits that are unique to only me and some that I wouldn't mind changing, but all that make up a beautiful me. I am sensitive, emotional, and passionate and refuse to let the world toughin' me up. I like me this way! I sing out loud while driving down the road and in the shower on occasion. I can get lost in music while drawing or painting, and lose all sense of time. When I flash back to reality, I may be covered head to toe in charcoal but I feel sexy that way. I only wear make-up to add a little sassy on a day when I need a boost, but love to look in the mirror without the added face paint......
Wow......... take a breath....... maybe I do know me. So why do I stay so hidden. Even to the point where I get to feeling invisible and as if those closest to me have lost sight of who I am. I think it is the down fall of sensitivity. I find myself so worried that others may judge and hurt these things that make me up, that I keep parts of myself stored away. Well....... Watch out.... cuz here I am!!!!
My goal for the next while is to find beautiful ways of letting my heart and soul shine. Not to be cocky, but I truly feel like I am a beautiful person to know. So maybe it's about time that I let others see and know me. No more self conscious holding back, and no more worry of rejection or hurt. I want to be seen and heard. I want to sing out loud and dance on my toes. I want to smile at everyone and laugh till I cry. I need to pull my hair up and draw. I'm going to tip my head back, stretch out my arms, close my eyes, and just spin. I'm am going to try to stop letting life frustrate me. I don't like how frustration and anger feel so I'm going to try to steer in another direction. Also, I've made a promise to myself that if there is anyone in my life that continually brings me down.... I will have to let those types of relationships go. Because I want to FLY..... and no-one can soar if they are continually being pushed back down. If you truly love someone you should help hold them up so that the breeze hits their face and they always feel as if they are in flight. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough or that your dreams are ridiculous or completely out of reach!!! Reach for the stars and never settle for being invisible. Get out there and be seen. Be known for every beautiful thing that is in your heart. Stand with me and be proud to be you. Tell everyone you love..... "Watch out, because here I am!" Love and see you, eventually others will see you too.