Fly with me.....

Flight: 1- The act of escaping physically

2- Passing above and beyond ordinary bounds

3- The path followed by an object moving through space

It's been some time since you have found yourself here. Memories of freedom and flight excite the soul and yet leave room for longing.The sand between your toes bring back memories of being young. The cool air fills your chest and for this moment you breath a little deeper and walk a little slower as to hold on to every breath.
Seeing the rusty structure almost within reach, you inch closer. Standing in front of this simple freedom you are once again flooded with beautiful memories of simple times. You touch the chains and begin situating yourself in preparation for to fly. You wonder as you release your weight whether or not this seat that once held you smiling in complete comfort is still strong enough to support you in this much later time in life. Have you outgrown such an easy escape? Slowly you push your feet into then sand, feeling the cool of the evening just  below the surface. Now in a standing position, gripping the chilled chains, you again question the integrity of such a simple contraption. Then.....
you let your feet raise to the sky. It all comes rushing back. You pump your legs in and out, stretching your toes up into the evening air. As you lift higher and higher... you lean back...close your tired eyes... and for this moment....you are in flight....Soaring above your troubles. You fly over all boundaries and for this moment your feet don't touch the ground and your head is completely in the clouds.....Memories of childhood summers and adolescent dreams. You remember being here as a young adult, terrified and in the grips of new love.

Lost in plain sight....

So much on my mind, so much weighing in on my heart, so much to say and yet no words pass through my lips. A deep sigh completely drains my chest and I almost need to remind myself to breath back in. My heart filling with such a loneliness and yet I am completely surrounded by friendly faces.

Where am I... I am physically here and yet feel a million miles away, completely disconnected from the world around me as it spins on it's normal and natural way.
I find that I am unable to express all that is going on inside of my heart and mind, for I don't completely understand it myself. So to try to get another to understand is near impossible. I try to reach out and fall short of making an actual connection.

Waiting on a blue collar fairytale....

She lays alone in the dark of the night. The breeze coming in through the window envelops her sensitive body and causes small bumps to appear under the skin from the chill of the evening.She stays quietly listening to the world just outside her window. Every sound tells a story. She continues to listen as the many sounds unfold, each of which spark a memory of a different time, relative to her own life. She begins to dream while still awake. Traveling through time and space, returning back to days of a much different time. In this dream of reality she is happy. Memories of long walks in the park and kissing in the rain.  Her body fills with passion, love, and then....

she begins to feel the return to reality. She again feels the night breeze on her skin. Her cheeks feel cold against the warmth of the tears, now slowly moving down her face. Sounds of the night symphony brings her back to the longing and loneliness once again. Feeling the pain of love lost. She dreams of the day when she may find her prince, even if it takes the kiss of an amphibious kind. Praying that opportunity may come, fearing that her past choices may have lost her this chance at "Happily Ever After"...

My "Notebook"...

Does anyone still leave the light on for love? What happened to the romance of Hollywood…Is it real? I know from experience that love is real; the kind of love that ignites the soul and causes your heart to pulse with such passion that it becomes visible through your chest.

Why not..........

 Who says you can't have it all... Can't have my cake and eat it too... Why not? If you work hard and make the "cake"... go ahead, eat it! You can skip the fork if you want to, it's yours, do what you want! I've come to a realization over the last little while. There are far to many areas in my life that have fallen below personal expectation because of the distorted belief that certain things may be unobtainable. All it takes is a thought of one being unable or undeserving and the world can begin turning in an entirely different way. There are many situations, looking back, that I may have missed out on a great opportunity or even grown from an amazing relationship if I had only seen and truly believed that I was worth it ,deserving, and totally able to succeed.

Can you hear what I'm not saying.........?

I'm speaking with my eyes, I'm screaming through my touch, I'm communicating with every deep breath or simple sigh....... So am I communicating , or do I need to put on my heels so I can be heard?

Sometimes I think that unless something is screamed out loud, then people overlook what is being said without words. I know that in my personal life, I speak more through body language and suttle shows of affection then I do with words of affirmation or verbal praise. This form of communication does, however, require others to pay attention to so much more then being "told" how I feel or what I may be wanting. Body language isn't always the easiest thing to understand, but if you pay close attention to those around you it becomes almost second nature to understand them without words.

A new perspective......!

  Are you happy? Is your life complete? Is this life that you are living everything that you could possibly ever want? If "yes" then congratulations and stop reading, go enjoy every moment of perfection and continue in the belief that this is it........... oh wait, you're still reading?
I am so glad, cuz that means that I am not the only one wanting more. I'm not trying to start some sort of coalition of people who are miserable in their surroundings. I don't believe that you have to be unhappy to have an uncontrollable urge to seek out the unknown or just slightly out of reach. It does not require one to have a "new" life in order to improve upon the quality of life that they are currently living. Changes come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes the biggest step you can take towards what you really need or want is simply to take a step back.

Watch out....here I am....!

 I know I'm speaking out loud....I can clearly hear my own voice. I can look in a mirror and see two beautiful eyes, my face, my neck, two hands, a body, look even my toes. So why do I feel so invisible?
Have I become so complaisant? To have become invisible not only to others but to myself as well. I fear that my days have been filled with such a routine of making each day pleasant for those around me that I may have lost sight of myself in the process. If that is the case then who am I? I can look in a mirror and see a physical self, that truthfully, resembles a slight reminder of who I once was. I'm afraid though that the person looking back at me in the reflection.... doesn't recognize me either. If this is true and I have lost sight of who I am....then how can I expect those around me to see the person lost in the commotion of the every day? Can I really show others who I am, if I don't remember?
  But wait.... I do remember.

Love doesn't hurt.....

If you love it... don't hurt it!!! This seems like a pretty simple concept to me.

To some, however, this idea isn't a natural way of life. I am amazed sometimes when I hear how some people interact with one another. How hurtful the words and actions of some can be towards those that they care most about. I am a firm believer that if you love someone you should treat them with nothing but the best. I think that one should bite their tongue before uttering a cruel word to those around them. Saying mean things is more damaging to a persons self esteem then many obstacles in life. When going through a rough time or personal battle, the last thing anyone needs is to be put down by those who are supposed to care. Life is hard enough without having it made harder through hurtful words and actions of another.

Life is too short... say it out loud....

Life is too short not to say it out loud. Hear what it sounds like as it passes over your lips. Feel where it touches you when you hear it from another. Three little words that can do so much.
They can lift ones spirit when hope is hard to find. They can give one the courage to attack that which may seem out of reach. These words can comfort and caress a heart while smiling right at someones soul. And when said with conviction these simple words hold the power to heal an emotional state that seems broken or lost. Who would've thought that a statement could hold so much strength and power.

Wooden nickel....

  "Never take a wooden nickel, It's not worth a dime"... A very dear friend used to say this to me and it still makes me smile today.
I have over time come up with my own collection of wooden nickels. Items or moments in time that hold little to no value to others but for one reason or another mean the world to me. Not to in any way discredit the actual wooden nickel, because, yes I have a few of those as well.

Picture worth 1000 words......

I was just thinkin' today of

a few simple things that matter to me.............They are written on my back but felt in my heart....

JUMP......

       There it is, set right before you. It may be complicated at times or it may breeze by when you're not looking. At times you may feel like you need to hit the ground running just to keep up. But look, it's your life. So to put it simply....Live it!
 It is like going to the ocean and just looking. Instead get your feet wet or dive right in. Just like the ocean, half the time the beauty lies beneath the surface. So instead of taking a back seat or scenic view of your life, be up front and present for every moment.

Some of life's best lessons are learned when we forget to test the water.

Rejuvenate my soul.....

Rejuvenate ; 1. To restore to youthful vigor or appearance; to make young again
                     2. Make(someone or something)look or feel younger, fresher, more
                         lively

   Ahhhh... Shhhh... can you feel that? Take the world off of your shoulders and put it up somewhere where no one is gonna trip over it and fall into a mess.
Kick off your shoes, and i mean literally. Kick them off letting them soar through the air and land down without a concern of moving them aside.... Wiggle your toes, setting them free from carrying any more weight. Stretch out your arms as if it were the first good morning stretch of the day and...... Breath. In and out preferably, it seems to work best that way. Close your eyes for a moment and just be... That's right, just be... in this space, in this time. No Stress, No worries, No anything... for just a moment, just be here with you and the silence that comes in these few moments when the world stops for only a second and.... wait for it....wait for it.....Rejuvenation.

Am I still in here.....?

 Do you ever sit back and wonder "how on earth did I get here"? Pondering for a time on life's journey and letting your imagination run wild on which paths have brought you to where you are now. What experiences have changed you emotionally and mentally. Even times that have helped in molding your physical appearance that you showcase for others. I seem to be doing alot of that lately. As I find myself looking in the mirror and asking out loud at times..."are you still in there"? I mean, I see me, I think.....

Gone fishin'......

  "Sometimes in the silence of your own thoughts you'll suddenly hear yourself scream out. Listen, it might be the only time you hear your own voice for a while. Take the time to get to know you. It's easier for you to be happy if you know and like who you are...."

  I think sometimes we just need to "tap out". I believe that it is totally okay to take the world off of your shoulders for a minute and .....well.... just go fishing. You may get out on a motorcycle and just ride or you might go sit at the lake, but whatever it is.... just do it!  Don't get so caught up in the world that you forget to take the time to see what a beautiful place it really is. Turn off your cell phone. What!!! I know, I know, who does that right? But you'll be amazed by the freedom after you get over the initial anxiety of who might not be able to get ahold of you. Put away your computer and let your inbox get more then one message. Get ready for an adventure or kick off your shoes and find a lawn chair. Just take a break!

Walking away......?

   Now a days with all of the public heartbreak and betrayal, that one can catch up on while in the line at the grocery store, it's becoming harder to trust in true love and commitment. You can flip the channel on the t.v. or listen to the radio. All you hear is songs and stories of love that went wrong. Looks like a good love scandal definitely sales. But what happens in the real world? What happens when someone isn't there to publicly announce the problem and to take an official web pole on what your next step should be? What happens after you walk away and realize that you made a mistake? Can you change your mind...can the hurt be forgiven? Is love enough......?

Waiting out the storm....

           " Life is not about waiting out the storm... It's about learning to dance in the rain."
  Here it comes, can you smell it? The air is filling with moisture and the humidity is enveloping your body. A slight breeze comes over you and your heart beats a little faster with the anticipation of whats about to come. Any moment the first drops will hit your face. A refreshing shower in the summer heat. Replenishing all the life around you for a moment. Wait for it... Wait for it... and SPLASH! You close your eyes and take it in. New life with every drop. For this moment there is not a worry in the world. Now here in comes the choice. Do you dance?......or do you run indoors out of the rain and wait for the weather to improve.

I heard it through the grapevine......

      Rumor has it... or did you hear? Oh my gosh, he was totally like... and I can't believe that she would...You'll never believe what I saw... It's totally true, because I remember when....  Do any of these sound oh too familiar? The grapevine communication, where truths or lies grow bigger than ever intended. An awful place where any ones heartbreak or embarrassment can be shared with just about anyone willing to hear it. This is a way of turning yet the simplest act into a moment in time that the tabloids would be proud to publish. It's pretty easy to understand.... Everybody wants to be known but not like that. Be a real friend by being someone that you yourself would confide in.

Tub o' bubbles....

   The water is that absolutely perfect temperature. Almost to hot to get in, but once you're there it is perfect. The bubbles are so high that you can practically breath them in as your back slides down the edge of the tub. Wait listen...can you hear that? Nothing but the sound of the candles crackling around you. Reaching over with your one dry hand, you turn on the music so softly and ahhhhhhhh, isn't that nice. You have a full body,soft towel hanging on a warmer and your favorite night wear hanging close by. Just another fantastic, and beautiful moment in being a woman...Right?
  Wait, isn't this how everybody ends their busy day, I mean every woman at least? Ok, ok, snap back to reality. Did you have time to shower this morning?

Falling in Love...?

  So I don't want to come across as one that doesn't believe in love. I am all about the fairy tales and romantic movies. I am a love drunk that trusts in fate. I also completely believe, heart and all, in soul mates. The only thing that I have a problem with is the term "falling in love".  The saying, in and of it's self, portrays some happening that is somewhat uncontrollable.What? Anyone, who has been "in love" ,and made it last longer than a night, knows that it isn't just something that happens.
  My problem with "falling in love" is that it sounds like you accidentally tripped into something. Now you are laying in the grass looking up at someone, who with the sun perfectly highlighting their silhouette, looks perfect. Standing above you they are larger then life. Now here in comes the complication. After some time has passed and the hormonal euphoria has worn off , you stand up. Now the once larger then life, perfect partner, no longer looks so amazing. Maybe there not so great hygiene or obsessive nose picking has finally gotten under your skin. Maybe it's the little things or maybe a neon sign across the billboard of your relationship, either way, you were completely blind to it because...wait for it....yup, because you "fell in love".

Cultivating friendships...

  Today I was speaking with a friend on the difference between friends from our childhood that we've grown up with vs. friends that you make later on in life. The reason this is such an interesting topic to me is because with the later of the two, you really have the choice of how much one really needs to know about you. I mean, do you really ever go through your life from beginning to end with a prospective friend, in hopes that they will still respect you the same after learning who you once were. "Once were" being the key.

Definining Passion....

  Passion (noun) ; Strong and barely controllable emotion
                           ; A state or outburst of such emotion
                           ; An intense desire or enthusiasm for something
   
    I am passionate...I believe in the simplicity of feeling your emotions to the fullest extent. Pouring your heart and soul into what you believe in without worry of others approval. Now in this day and age that is much easier said then done. There has been instilled in most of us to seek the approval of others in most of what we do. So much in fact that that we often hold ourselves back just because of fear. However, if we look within ourselves, often we find that our passions and desires, no matter how long they have been repressed, are still as powerful as the day they first became apparent to us. So what are you passionate about? What makes your heart beat with such a strength that your breast bone can hardly contain it? What do you do with such emotion that without approval it is still all yours?

When did that happen?

   So yesterday I went out on the lake with my family. We went tubing and wake boarding. Got home late, ate even later, and went to bed in almost the morning hours. Now to clarify for those who may not know. I'm the bed time warden in my home. I put my kids to bed early and try to go to bed before to late. I like to eat dinner at a decent time and leave time for a good dessert. So yesterday's hours were fun, but totally out of the norm. Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling like an old lady.
  When did that happen? I remember the days when I didn't even get off of work until 2:30 am, and even then I had a good hour before I would be home. In those days I would still get up in the morning and be "mom". I would totally abuse my body with all the wrong foods, drinks, hours and so much more, but yet the days went on. Now back to today, I don't remember getting older.

The power of the past...

  I am a strong believer that the past does not define us. Anyone can change in my eyes, for the better or for the worst. I don't believe in using our past trials to excuse any current short comings, and I believe in accepting accountability for our own mistakes. Having said all of that, I also believe that you should never forget your past or where you came from...that, to me, is the only true way to learn.
  I hope in sharing some of where I've been will end up helping me and help someone else through their journey as well. Of course I can't write a novel in one sitting but over time....who knows. I'm not going to start at the beginning, I've already been there ;-) and I'll be there again eventually, but not today.Instead, I am pondering today on all of those beautiful people that have helped me over time to realize who i can be.

So here it goes...

  K... so starting this off I should tell a little about me. I am a lucky mother of five, I say that as if it is who I am, and I guess in a sense it is. However, I am so much more. Being a mom is what I do, and not to brag but I'm pretty good at it, but that's only barely scratching the surface of who I am. I desided to start this blog because I find myself asking more and more lately "do you know me"?

   I have experienced so many different aspects of life. I have been in so many situations that over time have made me who I am. I have also had the plessure of meeting so many different types of people that have all left thier own footprints on my heart. I feel, now that i'm getting older, that I so badly want to share these treasures of life with someone. I want people to know me wether it be for something miraculous or perhaps for something simple. I don't want my life to go unnoticed.